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Thread: Housing advice for disabled person

  1. #1

    Housing advice for disabled person

    Guy's i have found my self in the biggest rut of my life, I have lived with my partner for around 10 years now its been an abusive relationship and he has cheated on me numerous times yet i have been stupid enough to keep taking him back time and time again he has controlled my life for most of the relationship, im not allowed to wear make up outside of the house unless he is with me he has emotionally killed all of my confidence and i have just found out he has cheated on me again but this time hes told me hes had enough of me hes told me he no longer finds me attractive and that im fat old and ugly and hes embarrassed to be out in public with me, for the past week i have slept in the spare bedroom and this morning he started packing all of my stuff put it all in suitcases on the landing and has told me i need to find somewhere else to live, i told him ive got nowhere to go he said well you better find somewhere as soon as possible.

    I feel physically sick i haven't eaten for 2 days i have no appetite i just don't know what to do i don't have any friends my parents have passed away and my own family my brother lives in australia. I am a single person who gets dla and esa, i know housing lists can take years to get on and i think i would be petrified to have to live in a hostel omg somebody please help me i don't know what to do

  2. #2
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    Phone your council immediately and ask for the homelessness department. You are likely to be unintentionally homeless, which means the council has a duty to house you.

  3. #3
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    Having posted some immediate advice (sorry I didn't notice this thread earlier), I just wanted to say that you matter - everyone does. Nobody has the right to verbally and emotionally destroy another person. I'm sure you are at a very low point right now and fearful about the future, but this sounds like a turning point as well. It doesn't sound like staying where you were was viable.

    It may matter who is the owner or tenant of your current home - if you're the sole tenant, he can't throw you out.


    When you call the homelessness department, stress that yours is a case of domestic abuse - you mention various forms of emotional abuse.

    If you get really stuck and need a place of immediate safety, call the police.


    If you'll take a virtual hug from a guy who is so sorry at what you are going through, and who cares - {{{{Mandy}}}}.

  4. #4
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    I am so sorry to hear of your predicament Mandy and my heart goes out to you.
    I would echo what Flymo has advised, get in touch with your local homelessness dept.
    I would also suggest Womens Aid if they are in your area. Having gone through the same sort of thing a few years ago, I can never thank Womens Aid enough for their help and support. They helped me get a flat through the local council, helped source free furniture etc. The biggest thing though was the emotional support which you need Mandy. They will support you in many ways.
    Remember, you matter, you are important and nobody has the right to treat you the way you have been treated.
    Sending you love and hugs xx
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

  5. #5
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    From your description of the circumstances, he is at fault, so it should be him that is moving out. Get some advice from CAB as soon as you can.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithl View Post
    From your description of the circumstances, he is at fault, so it should be him that is moving out. Get some advice from CAB as soon as you can.
    Who has the lawful right to occupy and therefore to remain in the property depends on the ownership or tenancy of the property. If the ex partner is the sole owner or tenant, he has the right to remain irrespective of blame. If Mandy is the sole owner or tenant, she has the right to remain. If Mandy and her ex partner are joint owners or tenants, they likely both have an equal claim on the property, which makes things awkward, as, so far as I can tell, it would take a court order to force him out.

    Housing law is complex, so I endorse the idea of taking advice. One important point is that unmarried partners have much weaker rights than a married spouse, as there is no equivalent of divorce for unmarried partners.


    I was coming at this primarily from the perspective of considering Mandy as an abused person at ongoing risk. The niceties of the legal situation regarding the home pale compared to the need for her to be somewhere safe, away from her ex, and with the wherewithal to eat properly. The situation with the home can be sorted later.

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