Hi everyone,
I have a question about discrimination at work. Sorry for the long post, this is the first time Ive written it all out. I don't know if anyone here has any experience with this kind of thing and knows if I am being silly or overreacting, or if it is discrimination, and if so, what I can do? I'm so confused, because I always thought of my manager and others as really decent and nice people, so I can't quite believe they would discriminate against me. Below is my story. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.
TLDR: I became disabled, my manager and boss have started treating me differently, refused to give me a pay review even though I was due one before I became disabled.
Detailed story:
I became disabled quite suddenly, and although it was possible I could recover, I haven't - the incident happened about 18 months ago. I was off work in hospital for about 3 weeks. Then I started working from home.
I've been working constantly since then, but a lot of it at home - my employers agreed to this (a proportion of the week in the office and a proportion at home).
I found out from some colleagues that the main boss (not my direct line manager) had been saying things in front of other people about my pain meds I was on and making jokes about me working while on pain meds. My meds have made me a little hazy sometimes but I have still been really successful in my job the past 18 months.
All my work can be done fine from home, I go in for meetings or use Skype and am in the office at least a day a week. Since I've been disabled, I noticed slightly different treatment - the main boss stopped giving me any praise, my line manager made comments to me about me not being as sharp anymore because I slurred my words a couple of times (the meds). However, I have done a lot of very good work, I often work beyond my hours to try and make up for what they perceive as 'less sharp.' I have objective proof of the good work I have done, helping to bring in more than £1 million over the past year.
Before I got sick I was due to have a reappraisal of my job as my role had changed a lot. After I'd been back at work for about 6 months after the incident (still working in the new role, which is advertised at a higher pay grade for the same role in other departments in the same institution), I brought this up with my manager but she said she refused to support me, saying that my performance in a meeting the day before hadn't been that good (which I admit, and that was due to a too high workload, but this is supposed to be about my duties and she ignored everything good I had done and just kept focusing on that one meeting).
She suggested we discuss in a couple of months, so we did, and she refused to support me again, this time giving a totally different reason, that it wasn't about my job description (despite the fact that the grading of jobs is done purely on job description) and that it was about how much I take charge and that I should 'take charge' more. So I did. 2 months later, it was another reason - something I can't remember right now.
I then had a couple of months where I was feeling a lot better and was in the office more. We met again and she agreed to support my application for a pay appraisal (even though nothing had changed other than my health being better), I had to fill out an application, send to her for her to add comments to support it, she would then send it back to me to discuss her comments before submitting it to HR.
I was busy and it took me a while to complete the application, but by the time I gave it to her, my health had deteriorated again, meaning I couldn't be in the office as much. I was still working from home though, and again working incredibly hard, in the evenings and at weekends and having success with my work.
I submitted the application to her, but she never sent it back to me with her comments. When I asked her about it a couple of weeks later, she said she had submitted it (they don't have to support it to submit it, if you want to submit one you can, but I wanted to do it with her support as it will have a better chance), but she never sent me her comments. I asked her to see them but she changed the subject.
I had asked her to get me an appointment with occupational health to help me manage work, and I had also asked for a reduction in my workload as it was ridiculous, with me having to work weekends and evenings (I am on an 80% contract). She agreed to contact OH and just said my workload would get less on its own and not to work late.
I emailed her in early May about the OH appointment as I hadn't heard anything for about 6 months, but she didn't reply. I was feeling much much worse, and the workload was just increasing all the time - with people asking me for huge amounts of work with a deadline of 2 days, meaning I had to stay up til 5am finishing it. When I came into work tired, she berated me (gently) for staying up late and coming to work tired and to not work in the evening. She says this, but will then email me in the evening or weekends asking me for stuff urgently 'if you are on email, please can you... I feel awful asking you for this! etc etc'
I asked her again in person about the OH appointment and she said she had contacted them a couple of months ago to say I didn't need an appointment anymore, because I seemed a lot better and she assumed I didn't need one! I had never said I didn't need one - while a lot better at that time, I knew my condition is fluctuating and still had bad days. She also told me I have to be in the office more, but I asked her what about the arrangements for me to work at home, and she said 'oh yeah, well if you need to work at home because of that, then..' But it is making me feel under enormous pressure to go into the office, when it causes me more pain and fatigue (I can't either sit or stand for long periods of time).
I have now been signed off work for a couple of weeks by my doctor and I am dreading going back. I feel like she has forgotten that I have this condition and that it does actually affect me, and that I am doing something wrong when I work at home, even though it was agreed upon. I think that the reason she didn't want to support my application for a pay review was because of my health and not because of my role - before I got ill I was praised so much and all the time for my work and my dedication. She only agreed to it when I seemed to be better, then when my health takes a turn for the worse, she submits my application but without letting me see her comments (which is what she was supposed to do and had agreed to do). I worry that she didn't support my application (she would show her support in her comments) because of my condition flaring up - it's possible she wrote nice comments but forgot to show me, but I've since asked to see them and she has ignored my request.
I feel like they were so supportive in the beginning, but that despite my continued hard work and success, something has changed now that it seems I will not ever be completely better. I feel their perception of me has changed, and things like the main boss talking about my pain meds and my managers allusion to my slurry speech cos of the meds make me really paranoid that they see me differently, not because of my actual work, but because of my condition.
I just have no idea what to do - it is really stressing me out and making me feel worse. I feel under pressure to go into the office more than I should, and to work late and on weekends and holidays (I was asked to work all Easter weekend by senior colleagues, yet then my manager reprimanded me for working on the weekend!)
And I do the weekend/evening work because the main boss has changed her attitude to me so much, to the point of being kind of rude, dismissive and patronising to me that I just want to prove myself again so much. But I shouldn't have to do this, should I? I still do the job that is on my job description, and do it well. There are other staff members who have notoriously poor performance (my manager has even talked with me about one particular person) who have been upped a pay grade - and I don;t even have poor performance, just can't come in the office all the time and have to go to the doctor more often (which I make up for with evening working) and occasionally my speech is a bit funny cos of the meds, but my mind is still all there.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.