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Thread: my housing situation

  1. #1

    my housing situation

    i really hope someone can give me some advice as i am scared and feel lost at what to do next.
    i suffer from various disabilities from a brain tumour ( 20 years ago) my enstranged husband and myself live in the house with our 4 children ages from 17 - 26. myself and the husband have been like this for 10 years!!. apart from my disabilites i suffer from depression which has become worse over recent years i think because my health has become worse. i stay upstairs all day (toilet and shower next to my room). so as to avoid the husband as he constantly puts me down and makes fun of me, and i rely on my kids to bring me food and drinks up, the only time i get out is for the doctors. it has also affected my 17 yr old as she is now very socially awkward and suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. the situation is just going from bad to worse and i can't take much more. just recently i applied to the local council for a 2 bed flat for myself and my 17 yr old daughter. but the lady at the council said she doesn't hold out much hope, can anyone tell me why this might be (i thought i was classed as vunerable being disabled?) what options do i have?

  2. #2
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    The housing situation is under extreme pressure in most parts of the country. You will get some priority because of your disabilities and possibly a small amount of additional priority because of the stress in your domestic situation, but that is likely to put you behind many others in a similar priority position who have been already been on the waiting list for years. In truth, disability won't give you that much priority because your current housing is suitable for your basic needs - the only disabled people who are high priority for housing on the grounds of disability are those whose basic needs cannot be met where they are currently living even after reasonable adaptations.

    A couple of years ago some friends of mine became unintentionally homeless through the loss of a job with tied housing. They spent a year in a homelessness hostel with their daughter (then under 5) before getting council housing. Those who are unintentionally homeless are at the top of the priority ladder. This was in the East of England, though the situation in this council is not unusual in many parts of the country. That particular council couldn't keep up with the demand from people becoming unintentionally homeless - more were becoming unintentionally homeless than were leaving that classification by being allocated council housing, with the council having exhausted the available hostel accommodation and being forced to put people in bed and breakfasts for months at a time. With the council not being able to meet the needs of the homeless, there was little chance of anyone else being allocated a new property who was not already a council tenant.


    It's worth discussing the situation with your GP to ensure the council are aware of all relevant factors to your housing priority situation, but, as I said, I don't hold out much hope of council housing. It may well not even be a case of "it will be years" - if the list of people in higher priority groups is growing faster than people are leaving those groups by being housed, you're constantly being pushed down the list.


    I don't know what the prospects are for self help. Can you and your estranged husband sort out for one of you to leave and the other to take in lodgers sufficient to pay for the person/people that leave to rent privately? Is it time to consider divorce if you are not already divorced?

    Only you will know what is possible, realistic and appropriate.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by hayling11 View Post
    i really hope someone can give me some advice as i am scared and feel lost at what to do next.
    i suffer from various disabilities from a brain tumour ( 20 years ago) my enstranged husband and myself live in the house with our 4 children ages from 17 - 26. myself and the husband have been like this for 10 years!!. apart from my disabilites i suffer from depression which has become worse over recent years i think because my health has become worse. i stay upstairs all day (toilet and shower next to my room). so as to avoid the husband as he constantly puts me down and makes fun of me, and i rely on my kids to bring me food and drinks up, the only time i get out is for the doctors. it has also affected my 17 yr old as she is now very socially awkward and suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. the situation is just going from bad to worse and i can't take much more. just recently i applied to the local council for a 2 bed flat for myself and my 17 yr old daughter. but the lady at the council said she doesn't hold out much hope, can anyone tell me why this might be (i thought i was classed as vunerable being disabled?) what options do i have?
    I don't know where you live or the state of your marriage but in the councils eyes, you HAVE a home, and are seen as a family. If you don't get on the local LA housing list scheme, you stand no chance. Its worth saying, all kids above 18 can put themselves on said list as individuals. Suggest you see CAB about what benefits you would be eligible for SHOULD you move. Its also worth pointing out, IF you move............YOU are gonna have to move from one room. Food does not buy itself, or cook itself, and it would be unfair to rely totally on a 17 yr old. The housing situation is dire and you can access bathroom, toilet and kitchen in theory, so priority goes to folks who can't. And still theres a long list. Hell I'm in the situation myself. Get advice from CAB, social workers.

  4. #4
    Senior Member deebee's Avatar
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    but if they had their own place they would not be reliant on the kids to bring it up anymore as the reason they stay upstairs is to keep away from their estranged husband who they still share a house with

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebee View Post
    but if they had their own place they would not be reliant on the kids to bring it up anymore as the reason they stay upstairs is to keep away from their estranged husband who they still share a house with
    I don't know that deebee. hayling mentioned anxiety and panic attacks. which is why i suggested CAB, because we don't know her exact circumstances.

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