I hate my disabiltys M.E, Fibro, Epilepsy and issues from a stroke I have a few months ago and now I feel it's not only cost me my health but my relationship with the love of my life!! He is my carer as well as partner and friend but today he announced he can't cope any more and doesn't want a life caring for me!
I guess I understand as it can't be easy for him but it's not like this is a choice, I don't want this either and inside I am still me.
Aparantly he has been planing it for months organising it with his family but waiting for the right time (I had wondered why his parents had distanced them selfs from me and even asked my partner if I had upset them... Guess I know why now)
It's come as a total shock to me as despite my illness I still felt things where good, we are affectionate although not often in a sexual way and general happy...Well at least that's what I thought till today when he just dropped it on me.
He said he feels like he can't have the life he wants and he can't see me ever getting better!
I also have fairly bad epilepsy and despite being on long term medication still suffer seizures especially under stress and I am worried all this will make me ill.
I am often bed ridden due to the M.E and find even simple tasks impossible at times and have no idea how I will cope without him both practicaly and emotionally.*
To make things worse my daughter of 13 suffers from juvenile arthritis so she is often unwell herself so she can't really help me.*
I get high rate mobility and middle rate care as well as having a mobilty car that i can't drive due to my epilepsy and other issues.
Well At least he can walk away from it but I am stuck with these illnesses and trapped in a body that's useless!!*
One of the hardest things in life is still loving someone who no longer loves you because of something you have no control over.*
He truth is I still love him as I can't just turn it off but I am so sad its come to this.
Sorry to rant and post on here but i don't feel ready to talk to friends and family, I just needed to tell someone.*
Feel like my world is ending especially as it's over an illness I have no control on over! :-(