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Thread: lonely at weekends

  1. #51
    It was good to meet you on Skype Lighttouch. I did try to say Hi to AndyPandy without success.
    Григорьевич

  2. #52
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    hope you managed some sleep andy and feel bit better soon take care

  3. #53
    Senior Member andypandy's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=mikeydt1;40489]hi andy just saw your last post about catheters and am a user here too and yes same thing for me with pain after change over, got some oxy to try and so far it has done it job of stopping those spasms, the big test will come next week, eek

    Hi there

    Mine isn't spasms but PAIN +++. I'm glad mine is now over for 10 weeks and sincerely hope your change goes as pain free as poss

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    Quote Originally Posted by freedomeagle View Post
    hope you managed some sleep andy and feel bit better soon take care
    TY. I did manage to get about 3 hours

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grigoryevich View Post
    It was good to meet you on Skype Lighttouch. I did try to say Hi to AndyPandy without success.

    Hi

    I did send you about 4 messages (IM). Did you not see them ?

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    Thumbs up

    Hi A P, hope you are fine Buddy, just been catching up on the forums again and thought, enough of me this time.

    Just read the whole thread and I feel for ya, but please don't do any more self harm ... thats an order!

    I think you replied to my thread so we are both waiting to hear where we stand from DWP and ATOS too, am on my sixth week of waiting now since they signed for it and its torture waiting and wondering and even planning for a worst case scenario that is not our fault.

    I know I cant work anymore, but am thankfully blessed with a sound mind, just hope Daves optimism of DWP and ATOS and all the reports I sent in so far will be worthwhile

    These are easily the most stressful times of my life A P, been getting chest pains a lot recently and I can only put that down to stress of the current situation and my age too at 53 (54 in a week) , though heart attack does run in our family so I really need to chill ... hence me posting in the music thread, that so helps.

    Take care.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katana View Post
    Hi A P, hope you are fine Buddy, just been catching up on the forums again and thought, enough of me this time.

    Just read the whole thread and I feel for ya, but please don't do any more self harm ... thats an order!

    I think you replied to my thread so we are both waiting to hear where we stand from DWP and ATOS too, am on my sixth week of waiting now since they signed for it and its torture waiting and wondering and even planning for a worst case scenario that is not our fault.

    I know I cant work anymore, but am thankfully blessed with a sound mind, just hope Daves optimism of DWP and ATOS and all the reports I sent in so far will be worthwhile

    These are easily the most stressful times of my life A P, been getting chest pains a lot recently and I can only put that down to stress of the current situation and my age too at 53 (54 in a week) , though heart attack does run in our family so I really need to chill ... hence me posting in the music thread, that so helps.

    Take care.
    Hello Katana

    Thanks for posting. Yes I did reply to your thread and am waiting like you. I've only been waiting 3 weeks so God only knows how you must be feeling. Lets hope no news is good news eh ?

    I only wish I could stop SH by someone telling me not to do it. My ex-husband threatened to leave me if I continued and even that didn't stop me. As it turned out, he was just looking for an excuse because he was having affairs but I loved him with all my heart and still couldn't stop because its not actually about the other person.

    Please don't mis-understand me, I know you are trying to help and have been very moved by everyone's care and compassion.

    Wishing you well my friend - take big deep breaths !

  8. #58
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    Hi AP, I've just joined this forum and when I read your post I just had to write.

    My husband turned out not to be the person I thought he was - but I didn't find out until we'd been married 25 years! Today would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary but I'm now divorced and on my own. I lost my job when I became ill (ME, arthritis, depression & OCD) and lost my home. I now live in Hampshire, miles from friends & family. I'm a huge animal lover and used to have a dog, cats, rats, fish and a snake but I've either had to find good homes or not replace them when they died because I can no longer care for them. My last pet, my elderly cat Buzz, died in Feb this year and I'm so lonely now. I only see two cleaners on Monday afternoons for 2 hours and then it's just me for the rest of the week.

    Like you AP, my family relationships are strained or non-existent and my Dad has Alzheimers. They don't understand my situation and frankly it's not worth the effort worrying about it.

    I hate Saturday evenings when I think I ought to be enjoying going out, having fun etc but can't. I have started self-harming but not in a big way (yet?). I cry most days. I know that compared to many I having nothing to complain about - but that just makes me feel worse as I feel selfish and ashamed.

    I've had to fight with the DWP and social services but I've no fight left now. I've tried reaching out for help, even the Samaritans, but the NHS say they have no counselling available (even if I was mobile, which I'm not), social services say I don't qualify for help and charities say I'm not in a category that they can help (over 60 or asylum seeker or have small children etc). I manage to keep going but I'm not sure how - or why.

    But the bottom line is that life is a bit like the lottery - you have to be in it to win it. So maybe today we don't have a winning ticket but who knows what will happen tomorrow? Something may turn up that we don't expect. A friend of my parents had MS and his condition kept getting worse until he needed to go into hospital. It seemed a depressing situation but he actually met a nurse there and they fell in love. I just mean that we never know what life will throw at us - good or bad.

    So AP be good to yourself and if you need to rant or moan then go for it! If moaning was an Olympic event I'd have bought back Gold last summer! I always think that it's better to moan than keep the upset inside.

    So take heart. There are people out there who empathise, people who wish you well. All the best.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by anderida View Post
    Hi AP, I've just joined this forum and when I read your post I just had to write.

    My husband turned out not to be the person I thought he was - but I didn't find out until we'd been married 25 years! Today would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary but I'm now divorced and on my own. I lost my job when I became ill (ME, arthritis, depression & OCD) and lost my home. I now live in Hampshire, miles from friends & family. I'm a huge animal lover and used to have a dog, cats, rats, fish and a snake but I've either had to find good homes or not replace them when they died because I can no longer care for them. My last pet, my elderly cat Buzz, died in Feb this year and I'm so lonely now. I only see two cleaners on Monday afternoons for 2 hours and then it's just me for the rest of the week.

    Like you AP, my family relationships are strained or non-existent and my Dad has Alzheimers. They don't understand my situation and frankly it's not worth the effort worrying about it.

    I hate Saturday evenings when I think I ought to be enjoying going out, having fun etc but can't. I have started self-harming but not in a big way (yet?). I cry most days. I know that compared to many I having nothing to complain about - but that just makes me feel worse as I feel selfish and ashamed.

    I've had to fight with the DWP and social services but I've no fight left now. I've tried reaching out for help, even the Samaritans, but the NHS say they have no counselling available (even if I was mobile, which I'm not), social services say I don't qualify for help and charities say I'm not in a category that they can help (over 60 or asylum seeker or have small children etc). I manage to keep going but I'm not sure how - or why.

    But the bottom line is that life is a bit like the lottery - you have to be in it to win it. So maybe today we don't have a winning ticket but who knows what will happen tomorrow? Something may turn up that we don't expect. A friend of my parents had MS and his condition kept getting worse until he needed to go into hospital. It seemed a depressing situation but he actually met a nurse there and they fell in love. I just mean that we never know what life will throw at us - good or bad.

    So AP be good to yourself and if you need to rant or moan then go for it! If moaning was an Olympic event I'd have bought back Gold last summer! I always think that it's better to moan than keep the upset inside.

    So take heart. There are people out there who empathise, people who wish you well. All the best.
    Thank you, that is so kind of you.

    I really really wish you could send private messages on this forum. I am on Skype are you ?

    Have you seen your GP about your self-harming ? Any self-harming IS in a big way because its your bodies way of yelling you there is something you are distressed about. PLEASE PLEASE see your GP. They have a duty of care and CANNOT ignore this.

    I used to live in Salisbury, Wiltshire is a lovely county.

    I'm sorry you have also found out your husband wasn't who you thought he was. If I put down on here what my husband did people would think I was either lying or had gone completely mad ! Just one of the things was he told me that he worked on SAR - search & rescue when in fact he was a storeman. The list goes on and on.

    Everyone is VERY friendly on here and are always willing to offer a shoulder to cry on or to have a laugh with. As reasons in my OP I am around a lot at weekend so if you need to talk just shout !

    Please make an appointment to see your GP first thing Monday - promise ?

  10. #60
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    Bless you AP. Sadly I'm not on Skype - I used to be really up on new technology but now I struggle to set my Sky+ box.

    I don't think I can tell anyone about the self-harm. I don't want to be sectioned or anything - my OCD wouldn't cope with an environment I didn't feel comfortable in. And I can't get to the GP surgery even if I wanted to. But I will phone the Samaritans again if I think I'm getting overwhelmed again. Thanks and please don't worry.

    I know what you mean about people not believing you about your husband. When I first told a good friend what was happening (the tip of the iceburg as it happened) her look of disbelief hurt almost as much as hubbby's antics.

    The weirdest thing was my parents who actually said, "But why are you splitting up? If you don't tell us how can we tell others when they ask?" I tried to explain that the reasons were deeply personal and hurtful. I said I'd no intention of sharing and didn't want others to know - it was my business no one elses. To this day I think my parents think I wouldn't tell them the gory details just to spite them.

    As with most things in life you have to learn to roll with the punches and try to smile (for your own sake not for others). It doesn't always work but we get better with practise.

    Hope the weekend isn't too dull. Anyone who's into tennis will be ok. Tennis is not for me though. At my wedding reception all the guys suddenly disappeared. We found them outside standing by their cars listening to the men's final on their car radios (the whole of the Putney towpath was lined with cars blaring out the tennis scores!). Of course nowadays they'd be watching on tablets, ipods and the like. Makes me feel old!

    Have a cheerful weekend if you can. Take care.

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