Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: romance does it exist???

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    warwickshire
    Posts
    779

    romance does it exist???

    Well my post on the undateables program lead to some interesting things so inspired by Pauls' story of him and his wifes' love, I'd like to know of others who have been lucky enough to find either romance or love or both in one if really lucky. It's nice to have nice things to read sometimes and it's nice for people to write about something that made or still makes them happy instead of writing about their worries of the daft governments benefits system... I myself as mentioned in other posts have not been lucky in love and never had anything romantic happen, this doesn't mean i don't like to know that it does exist out there......

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,803
    Quote Originally Posted by freedomeagle View Post
    Well my post on the undateables program lead to some interesting things so inspired by Pauls' story of him and his wifes' love, I'd like to know of others who have been lucky enough to find either romance or love or both in one if really lucky. It's nice to have nice things to read sometimes and it's nice for people to write about something that made or still makes them happy instead of writing about their worries of the daft governments benefits system... I myself as mentioned in other posts have not been lucky in love and never had anything romantic happen, this doesn't mean i don't like to know that it does exist out there......
    Apparently not from the number of replies
    I have 5 children but no idea if romance exists. seems to me it's an individuals definition of romance that the tricky bit. If you find someone with the same definition as yours then it exists.......unless one changes their definition
    The longest romance I've had was with life.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    195
    Yes romance does exist, I saw the film, Romancing The Stone

  4. #4
    New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    4
    It was Valentines day, and money was tight so I had no expectation of a card, flowers or chocolates. What I got was cupids & hearts, tiny ones cut out and hidden everywhere and I mean everywhere. In my coat pocket, in my purse, on my car seat, in my lunchbox, in fact anything I touched that day had a cupid. It cost nothing but time but was the best Valentines ever. Does romance exist - oh yes! xx

  5. #5
    Senior Member sea queen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,379
    It does exist unfortunately people with disabilities and a limited scope for going out and meeting people can find it elusive. Most dating sites I believe are payable which means money that can't very often be afforded or warrented to spend on it. Even on those there are time wasters. I think it can be very disheartening at times.
    Sea Queen

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    warwickshire
    Posts
    779
    Yes Wobble1 I agree you both need to share similar views on romance for it to be, wow 5 kids!! I liked what you said about your longest romance is with life i hadn't thought of that aspect to romance.
    Yep Richard romance does exist in films, but does the same thing ever happen in real life??
    Loved what you said ukmobilityscooter what a lovely thing to have done for you, like you i don't equate money and romance, thanks for sharing.
    Yes sea queen it is harder for people with disabilities that don't work, go to clubs or groups to meet people and find love and romance, sites these days are expensive to join though there are a few free ones out there, but after my experience of dating someone off one i wouldn't look for it there again. It is disheartening but I'd hope that by starting this thread I'd get replies off people that had experienced it and giving a bit of hope to those of us that hadn't been so lucky.
    Thanks all for replying x

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,803
    One of my eldest has spent most of her adult life looking for love with no luck and many disaster stories of dates along the way.
    The older she gets the more the panic sets in.
    The problem...............she won't accept second best and first best can be a needle in a haystack.
    She is happy though and fills the gap with a social life and various interests.
    It's frustrating to say the least when you have so much to offer and no takers. That's their loss aye

  8. #8
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    3,800

    The Experience of "Being In Love" Is Not The Same For Everyone

    Food for thought . . . which are you most like?

    Not everyone experiences love in exactly the same manner.

    Research has shown that love comes in several different forms or styles (see, Lee and Regan). For the most part, people experience love as a blend of two or three of the styles listed below. Essentially, people have different notions of what it means to "be in love."

    Styles of Love:

    Eros – some people experience love with a lot of passion, intimacy and intensity. Love based on Eros has a strong sexual and emotional component. People who experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romantic partners and they tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion (kindness and consideration). Eros is best viewed as romantic, passionate love - the type of love that creates excitement at the beginning of a new relationship.

    Ludus – some people experience love as a game to be played with other people’s emotions. The goal or desire is to gain control over a partner through manipulation. People who experience love as Ludus like to have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for people who experience love as Ludus – it’s all part of the game. For people who experience love as Ludus, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploit his or her weak spots (see, husband plays with my heart, who is likely to cheat, lovefraud).

    Storge – some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is based on Storge, getting to know someone comes before having intense feelings for that person. Love based on Storge takes time, it requires genuine liking and understanding of a partner, and it develops slowly over time. Love based on Storge is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experience love as Storge often fall in love with their friends.

    Agape – some people experience love as caregiving. Love is the overwhelming desire to want to take care of a partner - a parental or nurturing type of love. Love based on Agape is attentive, caring, compassionate and kind - a more altruistic or selfless type of love.

    Mania – some people experience love as being out of control. Love is an overwhelming experience; it turns one’s life upside down and it results in a complete loss of one’s identity. Love based on Mania is crazy, impulsive and needy. People who experience love as Mania fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them. Love experienced as Mania also tends to burnout before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, feelings of being out of control, rash decisions, and vulnerability. People who experience love as Mania are easily taken advantage of by people who experience love as Ludus.

    Pragma – some people take a practical approach to love. Love is not crazy, intense, or out of control. Love is based on common sense and reason. People who experience love as Pragma tend to pick a suitable mate the way most other people make serious life decisions: picking a partner is based on careful consideration and reason. Practical concerns underlie this type of love.
    The love styles listed above have also been linked to one’s style of attachment (see, Levy and Davis).

    Eros and Agape are linked to Secure Attachment
    Mania is linked to Anxious Attachment
    Ludus is linked to Dismissing Attachment

    Overall, when thinking about love and relationships, sometimes it helps to keep in mind that love does not always mean the same thing to everyone.
    Last edited by Lighttouch; 01-02-13 at 16:39.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    246
    Yes, I do think romance does it exist. But some people lucky in love while others are unlucky, both my brother and sister are married and got children themselves.

    I have been single since I was 6 months pregnant, now my son will be 8 in March. I guess I haven't met anyone special in my life yet, who know what the future brings. It's doesn't help the fact, I am also a very shy person myself. Thank god my son doesn't take after me in that department, he is a outgoing confident boy.

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Merseyside
    Posts
    75
    Yes romance/love does exist but its a very individual thing.One mans meat and all that.Ive been married for 38 years this March and after the initial lust comes kids and mortgage so its a different love.Where we are now is a comfortable friendship that has developed over the years.We often glance over at each other when something jogs a memory or makes us laugh.Its reassuring to know there is someone there who cares for you,after health scares you see life differently too.People often chase something that just doesnt exist,and can appear desperate in thier search.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •