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Thread: How do you go on when MH services refuse to help?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013

    How do you go on when MH services refuse to help?

    I'm really stuck. I have severe anxiety, depression and undiagnosed aspergers.

    Things have happened in my life with death of family through illnesses and I find myself isolated. I could build a life for myself if I didn't have this anxiety problem, but it's difficult. I can't socialise, struggle to communicate with people properly and the symptoms overpower me, which is kind of why I haven't had any friends in 10 years.

    Loneliness and isolation makes things worse mentally with the depression but as explained there is little I can do to change it while I experience the anxiety symptoms.

    Going out is a struggle. In fact it can turn out to be dangerous for me. After all these years of symptoms and what it has cost me in life, I can no longer mentally cope or tolerate the symptoms. Experiencing them, especially while isolated and lonely in life causes me significant distress to a point where I harm myself. If I don't harm myself then there's a risk factor of me going into the pub to drink alcohol to try and reduce the symptoms. That in itself is dangerous.

    To put some perspective on that these days:

    If I had a friend or family member left, they would accompany me (as a family member did when they were alive). When the symptoms get too bad, I can almost turn to them, who I am familiar with, make small talk about the weather or time of day which then can take my mind off the symptoms and get me through.

    On my own though, I experience raw symptoms, no way to control it or take my mind off them. Which causes me significant distress, upset, self harm and damaging myself going to the pub, drinking to try and reduce these symptoms.

    I have been through meds, CBT, counselling, other therapy (including behavioural therapy) and have had no success whatsoever.

    The fact is, I clearly need someone to accompany me, for my own safety and wellbeing. That's been proven. When I was in hospital after self harming I also saw various staff. I saw an Occupational therapist who said I could really benefit from occupational therapy around the home as I am finding it difficult due to the depression to do daily chores and look after myself. I also saw someone with experience of support workers who told me I would benefit by being accompanied by a support worker.

    I was referred to see a mental health team, who could put me forward for this help (secondary MH services)..... Nope.... They refused to, claiming I need to have bereavement therapy and CBT again and I will be fine after that.

    Well firstly, bereavement therapy.... I had that again since seeing that MH team. They agreed with me and apologised they couldn't do more, saying that even if I was at total peace with the death of my family, the big picture is they were people who could accompany me places and now I no longer have them or anything to replace for that help.

    Now CBT, having it at the end of the month.

    I'm just so stuck though. I really do need that hands on help with OT and Support worker. That was even direct from people who work in that industry and are experienced but time and time again mental health teams refuse to refer me, in place of something else. Which I attend, it's not effective and i'm referred back to my GP to start the cycle over again (See another MH team, referred back to CBT, waiting list for 8 months, have CBT, no change, back to GP again, and repeat).

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Hello Careuk26

    Sorry to hear you are struggling.

    From what you say, I’m hearing that the death of your family members - has meant the loss of the ‘in person’ support that they gave you and that any amount of bereavement counselling cannot help with this actual physical support.

    That in order for you to take steps towards improving your anxiety symptoms and to be able to cope with the daily living needs we all have - you need help physically by a person to accompany you to the shops/post office/doctors/hospital etc.

    Have you tried writing to your GP or Mental Health team expressing the help you believe you need and importantly why.
    Can you add a time frame that gives you a purpose of working towards independence from this help - making it clear to them that this support is needed to get you back on your feet.

    Have you thought of contacting local to you - charities or churches. These may have lovely people who happily volunteer their spare time to people in times of need.

    I hope we can come up with some ideas to where you might access help.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Thanks for your comment buble48, it's much appreciated.

    That is correct there.

    I haven't written to them, but i'm definitely open for giving that a go. From when I spoke to them about it, they were not very forthcoming, with MH teams being the least understanding of that (A 10 minute appointment with a GP, I can perhaps understand, but an hour appointment with a MH team, should have resulted in a bit better understanding of it).

    I'm definitely going to have a look into local charities and churches now too. Hopefully something will work out.


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