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Thread: Sex

  1. #21
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treborc View Post
    I know others who are now disabled wife leaves them girlfriend goes, boyfriend walks away, and sex is not around anymore.

    so getting out and socializing is not very easy sometimes.
    That's a common thing [ people walking out on you if you acquire a disability. Or you lose your job. I know that my quality of life will go into freefall as I'm the only income provider and now I've worked out that I won't be entitled to any 'contributory ESA' either . Looks like I'll have to take a lodger in just to draw even!

    Socialising
    Swimming - you can probably get a discount at the local leisure centre for you and companian.
    Cinema - if you get DLA you can get 241 discounts at all cinemas
    Theatres that are part funded by the council - you can get in 241 if you say you're bringing your Personal Assistant. Even cheaper if you book a few hours before the show starts.

    Try websites which are purely for people who want extra marital affairs - sex!. Better still become a prostitute and get paid for having as much sex as you can handle. There's bound to be fettish websites where able bodied people want sex with us DPs. - job sorted!

    Try bartering with a sex worker = exchange something she/he wants in exchange for services
    http://www.tlc-trust.org.uk/welcome/page4.html

    Get creative - life's too short!

  2. #22
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    I think my wife would be a bit annoyed if i wondered.

  3. #23
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    Other help available

    I would like to mention our new organisation Spokz People. We offer a range of services for people with physical disabilities. We have a sex and relationship helpline and online forum where you can ask any question and it be answered by counsellors and sex therapists with disability experience and knowledge as well as members of the public.

    Many people we talk to simply do not go out often enough to create opportunities to meet people. Often this is down to confidence and not knowing how to deal with other people’s attitudes towards disability. Besides the helpline and forum, we also offer counselling, confidence training and support groups all of which are aimed at helping people gain confidence, improve body image and learn skills like 'containing' your disability so the other person can get to know you as a person rather than focussing on the disability. We look at relationships and sex as well and have sexual aids to help people with disabilities have sex alone (this can help with sexual frustration) and with a partner. We also help couples with a newly acquired disability to try and prevent them from splitting up.

    If you're disabled you DO have something to offer someone – quite often relationships where one partner has a disability are closer and more intimate and sex more creative, because you have to communicate more and from an earlier stage than a non-disabled relationship. It’s about letting the other person know about the perks of being with you.

    We know relationships ARE harder to come by if you have a disability, and you do have to invest more time and effort than a non-disabled person, because of how our society is structured and because of the general stereotypes and ignorance around disability. Our organisation is about empowering people, not giving up hope and trying to bridge the gap.

    I hope this is useful information. As we are a new organisation, if you can help spread the word, that would be appreciated.

    Many thanks, Mel

  4. #24
    Senior Member andypandy's Avatar
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    Socialising
    Swimming - you can probably get a discount at the local leisure centre for you and companian.
    Cinema - if you get DLA you can get 241 discounts at all cinemas
    Theatres that are part funded by the council - you can get in 241 if you say you're bringing your Personal Assistant. Even cheaper if you book a few hours before the show starts.


    Swimming - you do get a discount, carers get in free
    Cinema - you need to get a CEA card www.ceacardco.uk its £5.50 and lasts for 3 years, it enables carers to get in for free
    (you need to download the application form and send in proof of DLA) - not all cinemas take part
    Theatre - it is not the theatres decision but the artists company decision. I have tried and tried to get a discount as friends etc. dont always want to see what I do and I have NEVER had a discount, so I tend not to go. EVen if I say I need a carer, they still do not offer any discount
    Last edited by andypandy; 19-03-11 at 12:51.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    [QUOTE I have tried and tried to get a discount as friends etc. dont always want to see what I do and I have NEVER had a discount, so I tend not to go. EVen if I say I need a carer, they still do not offer any discount[/QUOTE]

    Hi Andypandy. We have the same problem -I want to see certain films, musicals or comedy acts or holidays I want to go to but can't find nyone who wants to go

    Presently I've got two tickets to see

    the musical - Ghost
    Anthems - the tour starring Brian May and the singer Kerry Ellis
    and just booked to see the comedian Johnny Vegas

    I also want to stay in a lodge in Cornwall for a week - but can I find anyone who wants to come

    Lighttouch

  6. #26
    Senior Member andypandy's Avatar
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    I am lucky in that respect as I do have personal assistants but thats no good if I want to go to the theatre when there is no discount. So its okay for the cinema but as for holidays - what are they ? lol

    I play wheelchair tennis so I do go to tennis camps with my PAs a couple of times a year just overnight. This year I am going with a friend, actually its next weekend

  7. #27
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypandy View Post
    I am lucky in that respect as I do have personal assistants but thats no good if I want to go to the theatre when there is no discount. So its okay for the cinema but as for holidays - what are they ? lol

    I play wheelchair tennis so I do go to tennis camps with my PAs a couple of times a year just overnight. This year I am going with a friend, actually its next weekend
    Theatres - I guess it depends where you live. The Bridgewater Hall, Royal Exchange Theatre, Lowry Theatre in Salford, MEN Arena in Manchester are fully accessible. You don't book through 'Ticket Master' as they don't know where the wheelchair spaces are - I book direct through the theatre - these tickets are 241 if you say you're bringing your PA and ask about parking as there will be free parking on a first come first served basis.

    Even though I'm physically disabled I used to date a young mum who was a wheelchair user - she organised 'Direct Payments' so she could hire her own PAs instead of relying on Social Services. The good ting about the system was you could transfer the payments to a different location. We stayed in a posh hotel in Bristol and in the morning a uniformed friendly female PA knocked on the bedroom door to help her shower/dress - it was great!

    http://www.directpayments-support.co.uk/

    Gwen was avery determined woman who battled MS. When I was earning quite well I decided to get some sun for a week. Gwen wouldn't have it - she said you're not going without me! Well the only solution was to take her PA too - I paid for all three of us. The PA had her own room - it was fun. That was a few years ago and Gwen has since passed on but I can still smile when I think about her and the determination not to miss out.

  8. #28
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    "The good ting about the system was you could transfer the payments to a different location. We stayed in a posh hotel in Bristol and in the morning a uniformed friendly female PA knocked on the bedroom door to help her shower/dress - it was great!"

    That's very interesting...so rather than paying your usual PA to come with you and pay for their accommodation, you hired a local PA to come and help? It would be helpful for our clients if you could tell us more, how did you 'source' the local PA in Bristol? Was it through an agency?

  9. #29
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    [QUOTE - That's very interesting...so rather than paying your usual PA to come with you and pay for their accommodation, you hired a local PA to come and help? It would be helpful for our clients if you could tell us more, how did you 'source' the local PA in Bristol? Was it through an agency?[/QUOTE]

    Yes we arranged for the PA to turn up at specific times first thing and last thing at night.

    Sourcing PA - Now you're asking a question that I can't answer as it was Gwen that did the research/booking and payments via the internet.

    The woman who came was working for an agency. The good thing about DP is that Gwen was in charge - she was deciding when she wanted a PA to turn up. When Gwen stayed at my home her regular PA would visit us here- prepare Gwen for bed and discreetly leave. Gwen didn't want me to be her carer as she was a fun loving woman.

  10. #30
    Senior Member andypandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lighttouch View Post
    Theatres - I guess it depends where you live. The Bridgewater Hall, Royal Exchange Theatre, Lowry Theatre in Salford, MEN Arena in Manchester are fully accessible. You don't book through 'Ticket Master' as they don't know where the wheelchair spaces are - I book direct through the theatre - these tickets are 241 if you say you're bringing your PA and ask about parking as there will be free parking on a first come first served basis.

    Even though I'm physically disabled I used to date a young mum who was a wheelchair user - she organised 'Direct Payments' so she could hire her own PAs instead of relying on Social Services. The good ting about the system was you could transfer the payments to a different location. We stayed in a posh hotel in Bristol and in the morning a uniformed friendly female PA knocked on the bedroom door to help her shower/dress - it was great!

    http://www.directpayments-support.co.uk/

    Gwen was avery determined woman who battled MS. When I was earning quite well I decided to get some sun for a week. Gwen wouldn't have it - she said you're not going without me! Well the only solution was to take her PA too - I paid for all three of us. The PA had her own room - it was fun. That was a few years ago and Gwen has since passed on but I can still smile when I think about her and the determination not to miss out.
    Yes I have used DPs for over 2 yeas now and it has changed my life. I have 2 PAs. One through DPs and the other through ILF

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