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Thread: Learning to Love the Enemy in Times of Hate.

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    Senior Member Sasherish's Avatar
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    Learning to Love the Enemy in Times of Hate.


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    I confess, i did not listen to this talk. But you can't MAKE people compassionate. Compassion is a strong part of many faiths - but faith is always something a person chooses.

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    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Although I was brought up as C of E I'm really an Atheist and I don't go to Church.

    If compassion or empathy is central to religion then perhaps I'm more religious than I thought as I'm a great believer in 'treating people the way you'd want to be treated'. You won't go far wrong with that attitude in my opinion.

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    Senior Member Sasherish's Avatar
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    I don't disagree reddivine, and lighttouch the next step for me is learning how to treat people when they are actively setting out to destroy me or actively plotting to harm me. It's not always easy to be in the mindset of people like that and then know how best to handle that, but I do know if that was me, I would want people to correct my behaviour in a way that was supportive, and if I was completely unwilling to care about harm I was causing to others, I would still want someone to correct me in a way that wasn't going to propagate further hate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sasherish View Post
    I don't disagree reddivine, and lighttouch the next step for me is learning how to treat people when they are actively setting out to destroy me or actively plotting to harm me. It's not always easy to be in the mindset of people like that and then know how best to handle that, but I do know if that was me, I would want people to correct my behaviour in a way that was supportive, and if I was completely unwilling to care about harm I was causing to others, I would still want someone to correct me in a way that wasn't going to propagate further hate.
    Holy smoke! You want to be told your causing harm all nice but if you are unwilling to listen or care about causing more harm you still want someone to be all nice about it. Aye OK.

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    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    My Dad used to be very good at 'defusing explosive situations' at football matches - as he was a referee!

    Saw a foul had been committed ad he awarded a free kick to one side - the opposition might object and hassle him.

    He found that the best way to contain the situation was by not joining in the debate - stay quiet.

    It takes two people to argue. However, if you rise above the situation and say nothing you effectively shut the argument down. It's a strategy I use myself - you come out the stronger person for holding back.

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    Senior Member Sasherish's Avatar
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    Yh definitely not engaging in arguing is the best thing but I'm talking about when someone is actively attacking, wronging or oppressing me.

  8. #8
    Hi there,

    the NLP bring some answer to this kind of situation : it argue that in every "action" there is a positiv intention. Event if the "action" is seen as "bad" or "mean". Searching this positiv intention (ex. : a man insult a woman to feel strong) help you to answer the "why". Then you can figure out how to act about...

    Enemy, Friends, can be the same in life, just a point of view and a matter of you are able to handle it.

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    Senior Member Sasherish's Avatar
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    Michelparis, I don't disagree with that either as the intention is what is important and many times it can be benevolent but I don't believe that all intentions are pure and that evil does not exist.

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    Senior Member Sasherish's Avatar
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    No, just in a way that doesn't propagate hate. So if for example I got punched in the face and then tried to put myself in the shoes of the one who punched me. If it was me who had just punched someone; I wouldn't want a worse or even a equal beating, because that would only provoke more hate and revenge in me, but I also wouldn't want the person to run away crying either, because that would only provoke pride and power. So instead I would want some one to stand there and let me know that what I have done is wrong and unexceptable. At that point the person may see sence and seize there bad behaviour, but if they don't realise the error of their ways and continue in brutally attacking others; that means they don't care about right and wrong or care about hurting others and need to be told in a way that doesn't provoke hate, revenge, power or pride. And in a way that doesn't make the one repelling the oppression become the oppressor themselves.

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