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Thread: People making fun of you or staring at you.

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by stree View Post
    Kaff79, Regarding what your colleague commented, Sorry, How was this innocent remark offensive????
    I thought the same....

  2. #12
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Well, I was in the thick of people in central Manchester on an evening after Manchester City and Manchester United played a Derby at Old Trafford. The City was alive and kicking at midnight too!

    Luckily I know the city Centre well and parked up in St Annes Square - the sign says road closed but it is open to disabled drivers wanting to park up. I had three offers to help get my wheelchair out of my hatch even though I have a hoist. There was a Big Issue seller, three football fans and an engineer with his two girlfriends - all very friendly.

    Even going to the accessible loo at the interval of 'A Street Car Named Desire' - a young woman raced to open the door for me. Maybe Manchurians are just a friendly mob - I like to flatter anyone who offers to help even if I don't take their offer of help up.

    Obviously I've had decades to grow accustomed to my impairments - it must show!!

  3. #13
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    birdwatcher, do you have a disabled rail card? I have been in that position - MS being one of those invisible disabilities and have at times had to say -"Excuse me, I'm disabled, i have MS and need to sit, please?" Become shouty person on train - I'm afraid i have had to!
    Now I travel with wheelchair, which means even in a full train, I have my seat!

  4. #14
    Senior Member deebee's Avatar
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    there is a badge being trialed in October for one month
    I have applied,but did not apply very quickly when I was invited to,and I know that demand is high,so I may not get to be in the trial, but anyway, the badge says "please offer me a seat"
    I hope the trial is successful and that it becomes permanent

  5. #15
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    The majority of the time staring is nothing more than benign curiosity even in adults. I tend to jsut make it clear it's fine to ask, nothing to be scared of, and break the ice with a smile, or comment.

    In the work place there's often similar, but a belief that it's not ok to ask, compounded by responses such as kaff79's to innocent questions or concerns.

    A thick skin and sense of humour is essential I think, I knew I'd found the right work team when they were comfortable making a joke (laughing with me not at me) of what I can't do - because I and they know very well how much else I can do.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by reddivine View Post
    birdwatcher, do you have a disabled rail card? I have been in that position - MS being one of those invisible disabilities and have at times had to say -"Excuse me, I'm disabled, i have MS and need to sit, please?" Become shouty person on train - I'm afraid i have had to!
    Now I travel with wheelchair, which means even in a full train, I have my seat!
    Yes, I do have one now, I finally applied this year, I had been putting it of.
    That's a good idea, if I need to, I may just. I just don't know how or who to say it to! I that makes sense! But yes, I shall do that next time. Thankfully it's very rare I even use the train/underground as it's just too much for me.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebee View Post
    there is a badge being trialed in October for one month
    I have applied,but did not apply very quickly when I was invited to,and I know that demand is high,so I may not get to be in the trial, but anyway, the badge says "please offer me a seat"
    I hope the trial is successful and that it becomes permanent
    Yes, I saw about that the other day, I had been talking about that option for a while now, especially since they have the baby on board ones and people were criticising those who didn't give up their seat, but I said it was very possible for some of those who remained sitting to have invisible disabilities, so shouldn't have been shamed.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    My car was in for a service yesterday so I got a taxi from the garage to my local town where I was dropped off outside shopmobility. After a 30 minute chat with some disabled people I ventured onto the high street to find a coffee shop and generally explore.

    Once off the main pedestrian walkway the pavements are something to be desired as there's so much 'development' about and temporary footpaths.

    After lunch there seemed to be many school children outside - none of whom gave me a second glance.

    There was just one old lady who stopped in her tracks to stare at me - I felt like saying 'Mollie at last we meet' as if she was a long lost friend but resisted! lol

  9. #19
    Hello Sarah,

    I also have Spina Bifida. Unlike you, I have been in a wheelchair for all my life, so I think I might have the advantage of 'not knowing any better'.

    I was born in Belgium but I'm living in America for almost four years now. I went to several schools, both in Belgium and in the USA. I never attended Special Education, so I always had to mix in with a lot of other kids without any disabilities. I'm currently living on my own in a dormitory, since I'm studying Chemistry.

    Luckily, I can say that I have never really been bullied or have been made fun of in any way. In my own experience, most people are very understanding and cooperative when it comes to people with disabilities.

    I must admit though that people often stare at me, my wheelchair, my legs or my leg braces. I really do feel a bit uncomfortable by this sometimes, but I learned to accept this and to not blame people for this. People tend to look at something which is different, so why should I blame them for this?

    When I started my new study and moved into my dormitory, I noticed that a lot of my fellow students felt a bit uncomfortable about my disability. They didn't really know where to look or how to behave around me. I then just explained to everyone why I use a wheelchair, what Spina Bifida is and why I'm using leg braces. After that, no one really cared much for my wheelchair anymore

    For me, being really open about my disability, was the best solution against people's uncomfortable feelings!

  10. #20
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    I'm just getting used to all the staring. Sometimes I look drunk, other times I limp on one leg, then maybe the other 10 minutes later. Then I can maybe walk normally for an hour. I now go shopping with my sister and use a chair. It's not an ideal situation, but at least I don't have people making judgements when I'm in terrible pain.

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