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Thread: Parenting..advise needed

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    ???? it's such a shame that HMS/EDS is relatively unknown but many women experience the same thing, all triggered by pregnancy. I had symptoms all my life but nothing debilitating until after I gave birth. I'd dearly love to have another but we are ruling that out now. OH can't cope with the added stress and responsibility.

    As for getting our monkeys to behave better, ?? It sounds like you are doing everything you can. I find myself picking battles. I can't do it all so I have to choose what I put my energy into. We have the same thing with brushing teeth and always have done. Right now we have a sticker chart on the go and a dentist appointment we're working towards. He'll get his golden star if he lets the dentist do his thing. In the evening I have to just let him run round screaming and generally being giddy, I can't chase him and its wasted effort. I set a timer and reinforce the consequences of not having brushed his teeth by the time it goes off. It works 3 out of 5 times. When it doesn't work I take away chocolate for the next day or a story book that night. We get there in the end but it's really hard. I know it's harder for OH cos he does the running and my son then expects him to run. He pushes different buttons and boundaries for him. Try doing less and protecting yourself more. Move the boundaries to somewhere more comfortable for you then reinforce the new normal. They'll quickly get used to it. Hope you had a better run tonight! Xx

  2. #12
    Sorry tried to reply earlier but lost my internet connection. We had a much better night last night but mainly because my mum helped out as I managed to dislocate my shoulder (oops.) Hope you have had a smooth couple of days!
    We are making quite a few changes in our house at the moment so hopefully when they are in place, I can manage the kids a bit better and more consistently. I have managed to be a bit tougher on them over the past few days though and have made them do more for themselves but my biggest weakness is that I am absolutely hopeless at pacing myself. I spent 3 hours in A&E yesterday with my shoulder and then I went to work today, I know fine well that I am my own worst enemy sometimes but I hate letting people down.

    I can understand why you decided not to have another child, although my first pregnancy didn't affect me as much as the last one, I had problems with my hips during labour and had a bit of a horrific time. We were undecided for quite a while about having another one and left quite a few years between the two. After my second one, I was warned by a consultant that any subsequent pregnancies would damage me further so the OH had the man op straight away. I wouldn't be without my kids but I do wonder what I would have done had I had more information about EDS and hormones before we planned planned a family x

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