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Thread: Respect - the 'Sir' syndrome

  1. #1
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Respect - the 'Sir' syndrome

    After taking a lovely refreshing shower and getting ready to brave the outdoor elements I looked outside to see a grey, blustery wet morning.

    I had planned to see a friend for lunch but it had to be cancelled at the last minute - still but never mind.

    I thought that I'd go to Starbucks for lunch anyway. I wasn't able to park in the stretch of accessible bays as the 'non-disabled' were snapping them up so they could make a shorter run to the hole in the wall. Never mind but that means me, walking very slowly from further away and getting drenched.

    Entering through the entrance double automatic doors I wiped my feet and crutch base as wet rubber ferrules have no grip on shiny solid floors. Typically, the floor after the mat was soaked through wet foot prints marching through.

    I picked up a paper and ordered my lunch at Starbucks. I don't queue these days - pays what's due and finds myself a seat - they bring it over wearing a cheery smile.

    When leaving I stand up and make my way to the single door leading outside. A young mum sat near the door jumps up and says 'allow me Sir' as she flings the door open wide. I smile and say 'thanks' to which she replies 'no problem Sir'.

    I barely walk two yards and need to cross a pavement with a pedestrian coming my way. We both halt and he says 'after you Sir'.

    The wind is howling, the rain is heavy and it's a chilly 5C. I arrive at my car and lean my crutch up against the rear door and open the driver's front door. A gust of wind blows over my crutch - that's a bind.

    But not to worry, the young woman loading her car sees what has happened and says 'allow me Sir'. With a big grin she says 'here you are Sir' - I smile and thank her.

    So there we have it - confirmed - I'm a 'Sir' - but no medals, no feats of bravery, courage or strength.

    I'm guessing that it's those distinguished facial features or greying full head of air that does it Or is it those interesting scars on my face that make me look battle hardened - whatever - people's kindness just makes the world seem a lot brighter.

    Are you offended if someone offers you a hand or are you happy they want to help out.
    Last edited by Lighttouch; 28-11-15 at 14:54.

  2. #2
    Senior Member beau's Avatar
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    I used to be but not anymore, I grasp any help with both hands very gratefully.

  3. #3
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    I accept help if its offered and they know what they're doing. Like:
    I'll put that wheelchair in the boot
    Me: (looking) you'll gave to let me take the feet off
    Nah nah, it'll fit....(but it doesn't)
    Me: okay this thing cost a LOT of money LET ME TAKE THE WHEELS OFF

    But if they want to help with luggage or pick up stuff I drop in the supermarket, they are MORE than welcome. The sir factor cuts in with age, LT, plus the fact you look decidedly wobbly....

  4. #4
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    I'm never offended by offers of assistance.

    Sometimes it's unnecessary, but either way I'm always thankful. I'm very conscious that even if I don't require assistance at the time, I may do next time or someone else may. A bad experience may stop someone offering next time.

    On a recent flight the stewardess was constantly referring to me as 'Sir'. Eventually I joked that my KBE hadn't arrived yet, and whilst it was due, it was a little early to use the title.
    No single thing can define me; not my work, not my politics, not my hobbies, not my vices and not my disability. I'm way more complex than that!

  5. #5
    Senior Member sea queen's Avatar
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    Sir.
    I am not offended by offers of help and your story took me back years when as children we were our as a family.

    On buses, Trains, or Trams as children we knew if an adult got on and there were no seats we had to offer ours, then, if we were standing and a lady or elderly gent got on my father would be the next in our family to give up his seat.

    There's not enough of it around these days - maybe it's making a come back !
    Sea Queen

  6. #6
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    Whilst sitting in a queue the other day an elderly gentleman joined the queue, as all the seats were taken I offered him mine to be met by a tirade of abuse. He demanded to know if he really looked that old and decrepit, so I said no just sounded very rude and ungrateful whilst vacating my seat and moving to the back of the standing queue.

  7. #7
    Senior Member beau's Avatar
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    You always get one, sadly. No wonder folk won't give up seats or help if they have been met with that attitude in the past.

  8. #8
    Senior Member flowerangelx's Avatar
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    If somebody offers me help, I'm always called "Young Lady" or "Miss", especially by (older) gentleman!

    It's quite nice, really.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Although I'm not one for queing I'm not keen on people ignoring the rules!

    I was just selecting a sandwich in a Tesco cafe when a woman grabed a tray and jumped three places. Being British nobody said anything. But to my surprise the canteen servers just ignored her request for coffee and served the people whose places she had jumped.

    She obviously got the hint and suggested I went before her. I noticed that she had an Eastern European dialect so probably wasn't aware of the English custom of waiting ones turn.

    It's good that the cafe staff like to uphold our traditional values. Again they were perceptive and just asked if I'd take a seat and they'd bring lunch over.

    Don't we live in a great country!

  10. #10
    Senior Member TheFlyingKidney's Avatar
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    Manner, Chivalry, hopefully never did any harm! Although often a dying art.

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