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Thread: This is where I'm coming from.

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012

    This is where I'm coming from.

    Following comments regarding my contribution to this forum, I thought I should try to put my forum posts into some sort of context and hopefully give a clearer idea of where I am coming from.

    I'm in my late thirties. I was born with Cerebral Palsy, which mostly affects my legs. I get around on crutches. I rely very much on the help and support of my family and friends to live my day to day life.

    I live in council accommodation with my parents, both of whom have health problems. One has MS (diagnosed over 30 yrs ago) which has taken a real toll on their ability to get around and look after themselves. We don't have much money, but we get by. Though there have been times when it was very tough with just one breadwinner in the house and the other parent struggling to come to terms with a life completely different from the one they had in mind.

    I claim DLA and ESA. I do voluntary work. I've had a basic education but don't consider myself particularly thick or particularly intelligent. I love reading and listening to music. I went to a school for the disabled, where my childhood was spent around other children with a wide range of disabilities. It's a great sadness that because of their disabilities, a lot of the friends I made there are no longer with us. This partly informs my outlook on life. I consider myself very lucky to still be going, to have people in my life who I love and care about and who love and care about me. I have a lovely relationship with my partner. Life is difficult sometimes but we just get on with things, hopefully with a bit of humour.

    Many times in my life I and others I know had to fight to be heard above the voices of non-disabled people who believed they knew better about how life was for us. For many disabled people, finding that confidence to speak, not just once but again and again can be hard. I had to learn to be independent in mind and spirit if not in body. I have a deep loathing of being patronised or talked down to

    This past year especially has been very stressful for myself and people I love, but when I see the financial, physical, emotional struggles that disabled people trying to claim benefits to live on, post about on here, it gives me a sense of perspective. Though we all share similar experiences, It's humbling at times to read about what people go through.

    I can't give much benefit advice as I am not qualified to do so. Any advice I've ever given on here has been from my own personal experience of being disabled and claiming the benefits that I receive.

    I'm not someone who is impressed by wealth, status or material possessions, maybe because we didn't have much, but in my life I've known lots of different people. You quickly realise it is who people are inside that makes them interesting. I don't see life as a popularity contest, I'm not interested in being in the spotlight. I am interested in people's different opinions.

    I'm not always good at sticking up for myself but I will always stick up for anyone who is taken advantage of, exploited or treated unfairly. If I think someone who should know better is talking nonsense, I'll say so. If things don't make sense than I'll ask a question, so we can all understand things and each other better.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Thanks for sharing, like you anything i reply with is based on own experiences, I too was born with disabilities and had new things added as the yrs have gone by. I think the word disabled now seems to be applied to everyone now even to people who have health probs that can become better with medication, physio and surgery and those that have what i see as self inflicted conditions, i think these groups should be classed as semi or tempory disabled and have different benefit forms to fill in than those of us who can never change what we have. Like you a number of people i grew up with have now passed through disability and we grew up at a time when disability was viewed very differently, people now either seem to want to jump on the band wagon for want of a better word due to benefit changes over the yrs so i find more people now look at you like are you a real one when i'm sitting, though their faces change when they see me move. If people smile and are polite to me i'm same back if they stare i do the same back. Like you i make most of what i have and the people that are in my life and be as positive as i can i no longer worry about the future i just deal with everything as it comes up and i wish more people would. Take care and i hope life gets better for you and your family.

  3. #3
    Senior Member sea queen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Oh dear Rich-Ward.
    I can't say I have seen any comments but don't get to read all the postings as I come on as and when I can.

    My own postings are like yours just based on the fact that I help my daughter who has a disabling condition.

    Unfortunately we lost flymo who was studying law of some kind partly because of comments made by members

    Contributions by flymo were good and I'm sure helped many on here as they did me

    All we can do now is help others the best we can by doing what we are doing.

    Just need to add, I'm so sorry that you have needed to put out your post.

    Take Care of yourself and ignore any negative comments you may come across. x
    Sea Queen

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Richward take no notice of negative comments, I've not seen you post any tbh, your input is just as good as anyone else's

  5. #5
    Senior Member nukecad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    West Cumbria (Lake District)
    We all make flippant or negative comments now and again, thats who we are, and sometimes how we cope.

    It's no worse than comments we would make to our friends or family.

    I for one am glad that I have found an extended family here.
    I don't know everything. - But I'm good at searching for, and finding, stuff.

    Migration from ESA to Universal Credit- Click here for information.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Thought hadn't seen flymo on here for a while least i know now why sea queen u are right he was very helpful

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    if people make negative comments about you,in my opinion it says much more about THEM than about you.

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