PDA

View Full Version : I've totally had it



lostintime
14-04-15, 01:47
I really don't even have the strength to type this crap. Every where i've turned has been a disaster. I got bad burns in a fire in '04. I worked construction. It left me with permanet hand nerve damage. Yes I can type but my dexterity is bad. Got denied disability twice. Ive worked maybe a total of 1 year since then, and not at all since '08. My dad pays me some to be his caretaker and my wife works..............but I can't get anything going. Every job i've applied, never hear from again. Tops of my hands and right forearm look like crap. Someone says........oh go to the vocational rehab place they'll help you. Yep, after weeks of waiting, countless meetings, and a bunch of stupid tests i'm told they can't help me because they get paid from disability. Well i'm not on disability. I've held on as long as I can. Now the wifes job is in the crosshairs. If I can't figure out how to get something going........my time on this stupid ass planet is done. No way in hell i'm going to lose my home and end up on the streets i'll gladly kill myself before that happens.

I turned into a royal alcohlic on top of it all. Got into some trouble last year for spouting my mouth at a someone that screwed me over in the past. So now on top of everything I also now sport a class c misdemeanor for assault. Rotten bastards. I haven't drank in months, but that could change.

You know, a person can only take so much. Make sure you read that right before spouting happy stories.......I said '04, not a few months ago. I'm so far detached from society it almost seems like a fairytale now. I tried going to counseling but that was really worthless. I just didn't get anything out of it. I don't know what i'm looking for anymore. Burns seem to be the worse because people are so ignorant about them to begin with. That's a large part of why I got denied disability. They try to say my hands are ok becuase they stick my hands with needles when my eyes are closed and I can tell them when they do it. There's no understanding that it hurts like hell and there's where the problem. I literally had to hold myself back from ripping the last doctors headoff that I had to try explaining this to. I just dont have any patience left. This crap has drug out entirely to damn long and i've just completely had it with it and this stupid ass planet and the people on it to boot.

reddivine
14-04-15, 07:04
Couple of things. I have burn scars too, so not totally ignorant.
IF you can feel the pin pricks, you have some sensitivity in your fingers, that's what the test is about.
Alcohol won't ease the pain and if you are an alcoholic, get help, attend AA. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. A lot of you attitude seems to stem from the fact you think you deserve better.
IF you are caring for your father for at least 35 hours a week, you may be entitled to carer's allowance.
your wife has stuck by you, so hey realise she see's the you inside, not the scars.
So ppl look. F### EM, let them look. i don't bother anymore. We ALL have scars, some outside, some inside.
You sound like you need help for the inside ones mate